Remember when I mentioned I was doing the Artist’s Way? Well, I am in Week 4 and one of the tasks is a week of reading deprivation. At first, I thought it would be easy. I’m always complaining about how I don’t have enough time to read. How hard could it be?

Well, it’s not just reading. The purpose is avoid distractions that clutter up your creative mind. That includes television. I watch a lot of television. I’m only on Day Two and have had to work really hard not to watch cable news. I pick up the remote dozens of times and then put it back down again. I always joke that I’m addicted to the news. I really need to take a look at this habit!

I also read a lot of blogs. Actually, I never really put blogs in the “reading” category. They’re not like sitting down with a book. They are just little bits here and there that I fit into my day. It has been really hard to work at my computer, check email, and not go to my google reader. In fact, it’s been painful. More painful than not watching the news.

The hardest thing I thought would be giving up evening television. It’s my time to hang out with T. I get a lot of knitting done then. So far, I haven’t missed it at all. I was amazed at all of the stuff the two of us accomplished last night in the three hours between M’s bedtime and my bedtime. I even spent some of the time knitting.

Of course, I found out I had to do this for a week the day after I went to the library and checked out a bunch of books. There is one that I got through inter-library loan that I feel like I should be reading now. It’s about freelance writing. I’m trying to convince myself that it is work-related reading and not brain clutter. I am so eager to move forward with my writing. How can I put this off another week? It can’t possibly go in the same category as the Savor Section of the newspaper, can it?

It’s hard for me to trust in things like “spiritual paths to higher creativity.” I feel like I am such a grounded person. But so far, it has worked really well for me. I’m one third into the program and I am already feeling a sense of purpose and clarity that I haven’t felt in a long time, if ever. It’s killing me not to read that book. Do you think that’s the whole point?

I started writing my Morning Pages today for the The Artist’s Way and something crazy happened. I became super productive. All of these things I wanted to get done that had been nagging at me for the last few days came spilling out onto the page. Since I was up and dressed with coffee before M, I got a lot of stuff done. Even after she was up, I was on a roll. By the time it was her nap time, which is when I usually begin “my stuff,” I was exhausted! I even got in a few hours of freelance work today. And now it’s almost time for Bella to get up and I don’t know where the day has gone. Most importantly, though, I can’t believe how much I got done.

My productivity must have been infectious because M spent the whole day tending to her animals. Elmo has been talking about how we need to feed pets food and water, so she’s been doing that almost every day with an empty bowl, a teaspoon and her little teacup. After Sesame Street, she told me she was ready for her naptime book. We carried all of her animals to the crib, read a book, and then she got into bed. I peeked in on her and she is sleeping with one arm around her dog and her other hand gripping her teacup. She’s so cute that I hate to wake her.

Last night I went to see Sex in the City with Lauren and Barb. I felt a little sad afterwards, like I missed something I used to have, but couldn’t put my finger on it. I thought maybe it was living in a big city or living the metropolitan lifestyle. It definitely wasn’t the designer clothes. I really do prefer flip flops over heels.

While M was watching Sesame Street today, I started to re-read The Artist’s Way. I did this once before, maybe 10 years ago. I picked it up again because my creative endeavors these days are all over the place. I need to focus. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with the next phase of my life. Will it be graphic design or something new?

As I was reading, I realized what it was last night that made me sad. I miss writing! (For those of you not familiar with Sex in the City, the main character is a writer.) Not blog posts, not technical website, brochure writing, but personal writing. Writing about life. I can’t remember the last time that I did it.

I’ve always been a writer, even when I defined myself as an Art Director or Graphic Designer. Writing has always been there somewhere in my life. I thought the little hole I was feeling inside lately was that I hadn’t been designing as much as I’m used to doing. For years I was creative on demand all day, almost every day. Now I get to pick and choose what I will do and when I will do it. I thought that would be liberating, but it hasn’t. I’m one of those people who works best under pressure and within constraints. I like challenges and problem solving.

But I think the little hole might be because I’m not writing. I’m not sure where I want to start, though. Here? On the blog? This spot has become more like a categorization of events: pictures, finished projects, recipes—a record of things done. Do thoughts and dreams and reflections belong here or somewhere else?

I’m not sure. I do know that I definitely need to work through the Artist’s Way again. It’s going to take some dedication. 12 weeks of dedication! I’m going to have to make some lifestyle changes to fit it in. My personal time is already so limited. I think it will be worth it, though. Actually, I don’t think I can afford not to do it.